Kids

I've worked as a tourguide for nearly a year, now .. it's a strange job ... it can be wonderfully enjoyable, or excruciatingly tedious .. it can be enthralling or stultifying. I've had tour members from six-month-old babies, to a 94-year-old gentleman from Estonia, still more spry and energetic than some people half his age.

But, what I find is that I've come to enjoy the kids' groups perhaps more than any other.

I should qualify that. Kids' groups are typically one extreme or the other. They are either the most enjoyable, amusing and curious people to have on a tour .. or, they're a walking advertisement for Ritalin and solitary confinement.

Recently, I've experienced both extremes. At the Diefenbunker, we've recently had a number of school groups come through the museum. Given that all of the kids aren't old enough to even remember that Germany was once two countries, and the the USSR was, for decades the scariest presence on the planet, it's sometimes a challenge to find ways to relate their experiences to the Cold War. From one school, came a group of kids who had obviously studied the Cold War, and Canadian politics, and asked remarkably mature, intelligent questions, and were fascinated by the experience of walking through the largest nuclear bomb-resistant bunker in Canada. By the end of the tour, I wanted to keep them all, let them stay overnight and take them on another tour the next day.

However, not all groups can be quite so terriffic. There have been some groups where not only was their attention lost within the first 10 minutes of a 90 minute tour, I have seen the supervisors actively egging on the bad apples in the group ... giving them the attention they crave, and, if anything encouraging their misbehaviour. I have seen kids look at me, almost daring me to stop them as they try to pick up artefacts or grab onto hardware which is not only fragile but potentially dangerous. Inside the Diefenbunker is a bank vault, once owned by the Bank of Canada, and in there, I have had kids screech as loud as they can .. in an enclosed concrete environment, you can only begin to imagine the racket that can be generated.

However, a good kids' group will make my day. To see the look on their faces when they realize just how scary the cold war was, and how fortunate we are that nuclear conflict never broke out makes the time spent all worthwhile. So see their imaginations captures by this big, weird underground building, when they realize the Prime Minister, the Governor General, cabinet ministers and even CBC reporters would have lived in the bunker for a month is a priceless occurrance.

If anything, I have come to appreciate the job done by some teachers, and some parents, as this can make all the difference in the world. Teachers and parents who tend to treat their students and their children with firmness, but kindness, with respect but authority are, in my opinion, miracle workers. They are the embodiment of the role models that these children will take with them into later years, and they remind me of some of the outstanding teachers I had when I was in elementary and highschool.

School kids, I believe, do not want, nor do they need buddy or a bully as a teacher. They want someone who they can look to, someone they can count on to be respectful, consistent, calm and empathetic. Kids are remarkably preceptive, and can often immediatley tell whether someone respects them, or wants to dominate them.

Whenever I have kids on my tours, I never talk down to them, nor do I assume they don't understand the complexities of politics and engineering .. often kids will have an amazingly intuitive understanding of things, far beyond what adults may give them credit for. For instance, in the Diefenbunker, it was necessary to replicate all the essential services available outside in order to survive for a month. I usually ask the kids what they think must have been inside the building for this to happen .. they'll quickly rattle off the most obvious ones .. water, food, beds, air .. but often will think of some of the more obscure requirements as well .. electricity, a jail, a hospital, an emergency escape. Moments like that, when kids have a moment of inspiration, are wonderful.

So, kids are fun. They're energetic, curious, inquisitive, honest and often very much not shy ..

I don't have kids .. yet. But I believe that having this experience will make me a better parent, having seen what the results of excellent and abysmal teaching and parenting can do.

The die is cast

Well, at least the decision is made

I decided to accept the offer to travel to Japan later this year, and teach English for a year.

I plan to stay at least a year, maybe more, to pay off my debts and save some cash
for graduate school. The program I'm looking at is a master's degree in Policy and
Administration which will hopefully lead to a career in either the federal government
or with a non-governmental organization.

And there you go.

Sounds so simple .. now all I need to do is to do it.

There are many, many emotions running through me at the moment. I'm excited, certainly
as this will undoubtedly be an adventure unlike any other. This will be an opportunity to travel and see part of the world that I haven't seen. This will be an opportunity to meet new people and make new friends and grow as a person and build up new skills.

Of course, there are a million unknowns as well, and as someone who is uncomfortable making decisions based in large part on faith, this scares the hell out of me.

I hope this will be a great experience .. of course I recognise the possibility that there might be difficulties .. personality conflicts, health problems, natural disasters .. any of the above. There is the possibility that I may have difficulty fitting in with the Japanese style of working, that I will have difficulty communicating with my students .. I really won't know the answers to any of these 'til I get there.

I know I'll do my best to work well with my students and colleagues, and to enjoy the experience .. I will be receiving an information package from Aeon, the company that has hired me, on Monday, which should answer more of the questions I will have.

There *have* been many indications that this is the right thing to do .. some conventional, and some quite unusual. Late last year, in the midst of a very confused time of life, I found myself sitting across from a woman who called herself a psychic .. we chatted for about 20 minutes, and among other things, she said that 2005 would be the year in which things change for the better. Further, she mentioned that teaching in Japan would be a positive opportunity for me. As well, she said that by the time I turned 40, my financial situation would have been finally taken care of, and I would, at last, be free of the debts that I currently carry. A friend of mine, a little older and often quite a bit more resistant to change than me, travelled to Taiwan last year and taught English for 11 months. He returned, saying that this was one of the best experiences he'd ever had, seemed much more content with the world, and is looking forward to doing it again, in another country, possibly Japan. I happened to be chatting with the receptionist at an organization called the Ottawa Talent Initiative, a grassroots group for out-of-work technical people. I mentioned that I had been considering teaching ESL, and she immediately lit up, saying over and over 'Do it!'. It turned out that she had lived in Japan for five years, and has wonderful memories of the time there.

And so it goes .. this really is the realm of the unkown for me. I know I will miss the people and places here, that I've become familiar with, and only can hope and have faith that they will be here when I return.

Well, there's the beginning. If anyone's reading, come on along for what should be an interesting ride.

Dilemmas

Wel, well

Choices are part of life, aren't they .. at the moment, I seem to be standing
at a five-way intersection, staring into the distance in all different directions
and wondering what the future will hold down each of the roads.

I got a call on this past Friday from the ESL school I'd had an interview with
in December, offering a specific position in Japan. I haven't got the details just
yet ... telephone tag is a fun game to play .. but I expect I'll hear sometime today

I've applied, or am in the process of applying to a couple of University programs .. teacher's college in Kingston at Queen's University, and the Master of Policy Administration at Carleton .. both seem interesting.

Perhaps most unusual, I received a call from an old colleague looking to hire someone for a small software company. There's no guarantees, but this is the first time in, literally, years that I've been called for a technical interview. So maybe the techie market is actually recovering ...

Anyway .. interesting times.

The opportunity in Japan both intrigues me, and scares me.

It's a huge change, moving halfway around the world and leaving behind everyone and everything that's familiar. There is a real fear that once I'm gone, people will forget about me, and the things and people I care about won't be here when I get back. There's no way of knowing what the outcome will be, so this would be an extraordinary leap of faith, and perhaps this is what makes me nervous.

I'll post more as this unfolds .. if anyone is reading, feel free to comment on my muddled ramblings and many possibilities.

Tired ...

Greetings .. I return from blogging limbo, to the adulation and uninhibited and unrehearsed cheers of my many minions, and millions of massed, er, masses.

Speaking of mass .. I just got back.

From mass that is.

I'm Catholic, and have been since I can recall. Faith has always been an element of my life, and even during the years where I didn't attend mass with any regularity (I was what we used to call, a 'C and E Catholic' .. Christmas and Easter), I tried to live by the lessons and ideals taught as I grew up.

Now, this could lead to a whole long, and round-about discussion on organized religion and its influence on the, er, masses .. but it won't. Because I said so. So there.

In recent years, though, I've returned with renewed enthusiasm (though with still less-than-stellar regularity), in great extent due to our local pastor.

Fr. Joe is a remarkable guy. He was called to the priesthood relatively late in life (in his early 30s), and having grown up in small-town Prince Edward Island (like there's any other type of town there .. Kidding!), he combines the simple joys and unpretentious friendliness of the maritimes, with the deep and philosophical teachings of the Catholic Church. He doesn't lecture, he doesn't dictate .. if anything he offers his perspective and thoughts, along with the teachings of Catholic scholars and the Vatican, and tosses them to the congretation as a challenge.

'What do you make of this? How will you use this in your daily life? How can you use these thoughts, and ideals to be better Catholics, and better people, and to create a better world?'

It's a daunting challenge, at times almost superhuman, and often can be terribly wearying.

Hence my roundabout introduction to the heading for today's post.

Tired .. is how many people seem to feel nowadays. Tired of winter, tired of stress, tired of uncertainty, tired of life. Fr. Joe offered the question today 'Does the Church ever get tired'? And the answer, given that it's the people filling the building, and not the building itself who are 'the chuch', is obviously 'yes'. He referred to the ailing Pope as an image of the church, how one man, 84 years of age, weakened from years of fighting cancer, Parkinson's and now, the flu can persevere. Pope John Paul was orphaned at an early age, was nearly killed in an accident at the age of 19, saw his country invaded, first by the Nazis, and later by the Russians, stood up to the Soviet military through his support for the Solidarity movement in the early 80s, and has visited more nations than any previous pope. Fr. Joe likened Pope John Paul's wearied, hunched figure to one man carrying the burden of the church on his back, and it's a powerful image, to be mulled over, in these wearying, challenging times.

This past week for me, has been tiring. I'm recovering from a back injury, which fortunately has proven to be not nearly so serious as I'd thought. A week ago, I was barely able to stand. Walking, even getting dressed, was an exercise in agony. I wound up in the emergency room at the Civic hospital just over seven days ago, fearing that I was experiencing the beginning of some dreadful illness. I have never experienced pain as I had that day, and quite frankly hope never to experience anything like it again.

Fortunately, the diagnosis was relatively benign. 'Severe lumbar strain' was the official word, delivered from a friendly, very young-looking doctor who seemed genuinely empathetic towards my discomfort. A recommendation to rest, take ibuprofin for pain and to stop the inflammation, and a prescription for Tylenol 3s, and I was eventually on my way.

While I sat in the waiting room, though, I had the opportunity to see once again what our health system has become, and overall, it was a good image.

Public health care, much like many of our public institutions .. from education, correction, environment, broadcasting, have been under attack for years. There are many people in Candaa who seem to feel that privatiszation .. the total withdrawal of public money and public oversight for these and other institutions .. is the only way to maintain a functioning infrastructure. That by creating a motive of profit, whatever inefficiencies that may currently be present will suddenly be removed, and we will all be blessed with smooth-running, profitable and high-quiality institutions. Sounds great, in principle .. the only problem is, that it will never work, and nearly every instance where this has been tried, the results have been less than spectacular.

Unrestrained commerce is a powerful thing. It has the capacity to benefit a great number of people by generating wealth and improving livelihoods. Unfortunately, unrestrained commerce also has a tendancy to ultimatly concentrate a great deal of wealth in the hands of relatively few, and to exist on the backs of a great many people of lesser power.

Competition is a great thing, and often does generate new ideas, businesses, even entirely new industries. However, this typically is a fleeting, transient state. Just was water seeks its lowest level, commerce too seeks to establish a state where as much revenue can be generated as cheaply as possible. Software become Microsoft, retail becomes Wal-Mart, food becomes McDonald's, entertainment becomes Blockbuster or Cineplex, coffee becomes Starbuck's or Second Cup, bookstores become Chapters, home renovation becomes Home Depot or Rona .. and on it goes.

And this, to me, is the danger of opening up our public institutions to the influence of private enterprise.

Do we really want our health care system to be viewed as a profit-making enterprise? Do we really want our school systems to view the bottom line, and their profit margins with more concern than the quality of education of their students? Do we really want our environmental policies to be driven by financial gain, rather than long-term preservation?

I don't know. I know how I feel about these things, but have no idea if I'm simply a voice in the wilderness, or one of millions of others who value these things, and view our funding them as an investment in our future and the futures of generations to come.

I don't know these answers.

And sometimes, thinking about them, I get tired.