Happy New Year
Greetings everyone. Welcome to 2005.
I closed the previous year with a mixture of sadness and optimism. For me, 2004 was a difficult year, a year of loss, a year of transition. I had lost a career that I valued a great deal, had lost touch with a number of people I had considered friends, had lost touch with much of the world.
I had lost energy, focus, optimism, humour, and quite frankly, come Christmas I was feeling pretty sorry for myself.
The holiday season was a melancholy time, shaded by a year of lonliness and uncertainty, of financial difficulty and isolation. Seldom had the Christmas season so grated on my senses. The fake-happy commercialism as well as the shallowness and impatience of the frenzied masses of shoppers I seemed to be unable to escape. Overall, I was not a happy camper.
However, in the midst of the melancholy, there were wonderful things. I was involved in a number of community theatre productions, honing my abilities as a credible actor, and even attempting to carry a tune onstage. No vegetables were thrown, and I took this as a good review. As well, my sister became engaged, a homeowner, married, and a mother-to-be, all within the past 16 months,. Though my life was quite stagnant, it was wonderful to see her wishes and dreams finally becoming reality.
The upcoming year promises to be one of change, and uncertainty. I have been offered an opportunity to move to Japan and teach English for a year (more, if an extension is agreeable to both myself and my potential future employer), and hopefully experience a renewal and rebirth unlike any I've ever experienced before.
I've always been somewhat of a spiritual person, though this year has sorely tested my faith and my beliefs. Is it fair that someone, such as myself, whom I believe to be a decent, if flawed person be marginalized, and isolated? Is it fair that someone like myself who's devoted as much of myself to whatever job I've held, and whatever relationship I've been involved in, finish the year scratching for my financial survivial, and practically alone?
Of course it's not fair. Neither is it pleasant. It is, however, life as it currently exists and it's up to me how I wish to live within this space.
I've found an excellent book, which I'd recommend to anyone facing a great transition or turmoil in their life .. it's titled 'The Dark Night of the Soul', by Thomas Moore. The author was a Catholic monk for nearly 15 years, and is well versed in Christianity, Buddhism and even a bith of Taoist philosophy, and writes as a philosophical, compassionate and thoughtful person.
PERSPECTIVES
This has been a tumultuous year around the world, and I'll confess that at times, I was somewhat numb to the suffering and turmoil in other parts of the globe. I can look at pictures from Iraq, now, and feel sorrow, but not the outrage I once experienced. I can listen to the patent untruths being told by members of various national governments, and no longer feel the incredulity I once experienced. Instead, I feel more of a sad resignation that, contrary to what I've long wished, there are some truly misguided and hard-hearted people at the controls of a number of the leading nations on the planet today.
However, on Dec 26, much of this changed. When the reports of the Tsunami which struck parts of Indonesia, Thailand and Sri Lanka began to emerge, the toll very quickly was horriffic. At present, over 110,000 people have been reported either dead or missing. Some villages have literally been wiped out, with not one building left standing. Some villages, CNN was reporting, have lost an entire generation of children. To me, such an event is incomprehensible, especially given that so many of the areas hardest hit were popular tourist destinations. Words seem so insigificant when so many years of effort and so many peoples' livelihoods, and vacations vanished in an instant.
I look forward to 2005, and to sharing my reflections and experiences with whomever wishes to read this blog, and come along for the ride.
I closed the previous year with a mixture of sadness and optimism. For me, 2004 was a difficult year, a year of loss, a year of transition. I had lost a career that I valued a great deal, had lost touch with a number of people I had considered friends, had lost touch with much of the world.
I had lost energy, focus, optimism, humour, and quite frankly, come Christmas I was feeling pretty sorry for myself.
The holiday season was a melancholy time, shaded by a year of lonliness and uncertainty, of financial difficulty and isolation. Seldom had the Christmas season so grated on my senses. The fake-happy commercialism as well as the shallowness and impatience of the frenzied masses of shoppers I seemed to be unable to escape. Overall, I was not a happy camper.
However, in the midst of the melancholy, there were wonderful things. I was involved in a number of community theatre productions, honing my abilities as a credible actor, and even attempting to carry a tune onstage. No vegetables were thrown, and I took this as a good review. As well, my sister became engaged, a homeowner, married, and a mother-to-be, all within the past 16 months,. Though my life was quite stagnant, it was wonderful to see her wishes and dreams finally becoming reality.
The upcoming year promises to be one of change, and uncertainty. I have been offered an opportunity to move to Japan and teach English for a year (more, if an extension is agreeable to both myself and my potential future employer), and hopefully experience a renewal and rebirth unlike any I've ever experienced before.
I've always been somewhat of a spiritual person, though this year has sorely tested my faith and my beliefs. Is it fair that someone, such as myself, whom I believe to be a decent, if flawed person be marginalized, and isolated? Is it fair that someone like myself who's devoted as much of myself to whatever job I've held, and whatever relationship I've been involved in, finish the year scratching for my financial survivial, and practically alone?
Of course it's not fair. Neither is it pleasant. It is, however, life as it currently exists and it's up to me how I wish to live within this space.
I've found an excellent book, which I'd recommend to anyone facing a great transition or turmoil in their life .. it's titled 'The Dark Night of the Soul', by Thomas Moore. The author was a Catholic monk for nearly 15 years, and is well versed in Christianity, Buddhism and even a bith of Taoist philosophy, and writes as a philosophical, compassionate and thoughtful person.
PERSPECTIVES
This has been a tumultuous year around the world, and I'll confess that at times, I was somewhat numb to the suffering and turmoil in other parts of the globe. I can look at pictures from Iraq, now, and feel sorrow, but not the outrage I once experienced. I can listen to the patent untruths being told by members of various national governments, and no longer feel the incredulity I once experienced. Instead, I feel more of a sad resignation that, contrary to what I've long wished, there are some truly misguided and hard-hearted people at the controls of a number of the leading nations on the planet today.
However, on Dec 26, much of this changed. When the reports of the Tsunami which struck parts of Indonesia, Thailand and Sri Lanka began to emerge, the toll very quickly was horriffic. At present, over 110,000 people have been reported either dead or missing. Some villages have literally been wiped out, with not one building left standing. Some villages, CNN was reporting, have lost an entire generation of children. To me, such an event is incomprehensible, especially given that so many of the areas hardest hit were popular tourist destinations. Words seem so insigificant when so many years of effort and so many peoples' livelihoods, and vacations vanished in an instant.
I look forward to 2005, and to sharing my reflections and experiences with whomever wishes to read this blog, and come along for the ride.
posted by xiz at 2:35 PM
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